Technical Article #3
Getting Unstuck:
(Some Extrication Methods for Escaping the Inevitable)
- As submitted by Gene Cornelius
OK....you're knee-deep in mud, and you haven't even gotten out of the bus yet. This is not good! Perhaps
you should go back in time and reconsider splashing through this mud-bog without checking it out first!
I wish you luck....you've got a bit of work to do. Anyway, stop screaming--it won't help--and it might just
attract the attention of nearby Sasquatch clans. NOT what you need right now, unless you can speak fluent
Sasquatch, and can somehow convince them to pull you out.
Keep a calm head....your mind does not really help you much if you're in panic mode. Assess the situation calmly,
with mind to priority: What is the most important factor in your current situation? Is it time? Could be....it
usually is. Are you stuck in the sand on the beach and the tide is coming in? Yes, time is an issue. Are you
caught three day's walk out of town without a spare distributor and yours just self-destructed, but you have a week's
worth of non-perishable food and camping gear? No, time is not the primary concern for you. Does anyone know
where you are, or where you should be, within the next several hours? If so, are they going to come looking? If not,
maybe next time they will, because you will have developed the presence of mind to inform someone trustworthy
of your travel plans ahead of time! Do you know how best to get help if you should be truly stranded without means
of self-rescue? Pay attention! It is the little details that can keep a stupid mistake fun, instead of deadly. At
the very least, you might be a little embarassed....no problem. Could be worse: This is your first date with
so-and-so, and she/he has a job interview for their dream job coming up after the weekend....yes, back to the time issue!
OK....enough of this theoretical nonsense. Here are a few extrication techniques that I've used, as well as a few that
I've not yet had to try:
Weight for Traction!
Got a problem making the rotational motion of your tires cause a linear motion of your bus and therefore, you? Well, you should
possibly consider taking steps to induce an increase in the amount of friction between your rubber and the road. This can be
quickly and easily accomplished via the re-allocation of available objects of mass to the rear-most partitions of your
bus, thusly adding weight, and thereby causing the ability of your tires to slip unduly to decrease. Remember that co-pilot
mentioned in the article about